Funny SMS Messages

200 Funny SMS Collection

A Sweet demand by a kid.
A kid was beaten by his mom.
Dad came n asked- what happen son?
Kid said-I cant adjust with your wife anymore,
I want my own.

Wanna make money through Facebook...??
Go to:
Account->
account settings->
and click on
De-activate your Account
than
Start Working...!! Lolz :-P

Judge: why r u arrested?
Sardar: for shopping early?
Judge: well, that's not a crime,
anyway how early were u shopping?
Sardar: before opening the shop.....:p

Smile to old means Respect
Smile to child mean Innocence
Smile to friend means Care
Smile in front of mobile, a mental case!
Still smiling? ;-)
Pagal ey oy

Teacher told all students
in a class to write an essay
on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote No match, due to rain!!!

Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?
Sardar: BA
Professor:For sodium?
Sardar: NA
Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA
& 2 atoms of NA combined?
Sardar: BANANA

Height of coolness:
2 Guys coming out of the examination Hall with chips and coke in hands....
1st guy:which paper was it?
2nd guy:I think maths......
1st guy:(surprisingly) you read the question paper?
2nd guy: no I see a girl sitting besides me using calculator:>

Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ?
Mind u - it's really very very urgent,
damn serious and very imp ....
I'm playing cards and
we've misplaced the JOKER.

Jab barish hoti hai, Tum yaad aate ho.
Jab kali ghata chaye, Tum yaad ate ho,
Jab bheegte hain tum yaad aate ho,
Bataoo Meri umbrella Kab wapis kro ge!

When u feel sad....
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
"damn I am really so cute"
u will overcome your sadness.
But don't make this a habit.....
Coz liars go to hell !!!!

A Good Teacher Is Who
Tells To Study Hard...
But,,
A Best Teacher Is Who
Stands Outside D
Examination Hall N Shouts. . .
"OYE CHECKING WALE AA GAYE
APNI APNI PARCHIY CHUPA LO..." =P =D

Sardar was busy removing
a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are
you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board.
Parking is only for 2 wheeler

Hey friend remember that
without stupidity there can be no wisdom
& without ugliness there can be no beauty
so the world needs YOU after all!

Latest Funny Sms 2021

Examiner:y r u under tension?
Did u forget admit card,ID,or calculator?
studnt:No Sir!
By mistake i have brought tomorrow
exam's pharray (Cheating material) today:-)

A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
Books And Study

Aftr engagemnt!
Girl:
Now stop looking at girls,u r commited now!
Boy:
Oho what do u mean,
if i m on diet,
that doesnt mean that i cant look at MENU . . :-D

DAD:dear son,why yor sister sitting so silent
SON:Nothing dad sister asked
lipstik, but i gave fevistik.
No chip chip
no chik chik

Hey U Know
Which is the best day to propose a girl.. April 1
U Know Why??
If she accept its your luck
otherwise just tell April Foooooll.

Husband throwing knives on wifes picture.
All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her
"Hi,wat ru doin?"
His honest reply,"MISSING U"

All say that love is more important than money..
Have u ever tried paying ur bill with a hug.. ? ? :P ;)

Human brain is the most
outstanding object in world.
It functions 24 hours a day,
365 days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born,
and stop only when we enter the examination hall.

Our friendship means a lot to me.
U cry i cry.
U laugh i laugh.
U jump out of the window
I look down & then
.
.
.
I laugh again

Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.
Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:-because main itni khushi
bardasht nahin ker sakta:D

Never KISS a lady police,
She will say, hands up.
Never KISS a lady doctor,
She will say, Next please
Always KISS a lady teacher,
She will say, repeat it 5 time

Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE:-
C-Come,
O-On,
L-Lets,
L-Love,
E-Each,
G-Girl,
E-Equally......
Thats why boys go to college

A man found his wife having affair with a guy.
He decided 2 kill himself & his wife.
Apne kaan pe pistol lagai aur bola-
tu khush mat ho agla number tera hai!

Air & students hv d same mentality
How?
?
?
?
?
Both r turning d book's pages without reading.

if sumone calls u crazy,dont mind,
if sumone calls u duffer,relax,
if sumone calls u stupid be cool,
but if sumone calls u "cute"
lagana thappar os pagal ke monh pe,
mazak ki b koi hud hoti hai

True Love is like a pillow.
U could HUG it when Ur in trouble.
U could CRY on it when Ur in pain.
U could EMBRACE it when Ur happy.
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 buy a Pillow.

A sardarji's boy asked his dad:
What is a grownup joke?
Sardar ji replied:
any joke which is eighteen years old

Teacher : U failure !
At ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir,
but at ur age hitler commited suicide

Sardar to doctor:
When I sleep, monkeys
play football in my dreams.
Dr:No problem,
just take this medicine b4 sleep.
Sardar: Kal se khaonga aaj final hai.

Whos hot... Its U,
Whos
Charming... Its U,
Whos
Sweetest.. Its U,
Whos
Intelligent... Its U,
Whos dear & near friend... Its U
Whos a liar.. Its me

Latest Funny Sms In Urdu

Bachpanka Wo Yad-Gar Lamha
Jb Ami Kehti Thi
Beta Time Kiya Howa Hai
Or Main Kehta Tha
Choti Sui 10 Per Or Bari Sui 2 Per Hai.

Sheikh Ki Biwi Bemar Thi
Sheikh Ki Biwi Bemar Thi,
Light Nahi Thi To Es Ny
Candle Jala Di Or Bola:
Doctor Ko Leny Jaraha Hn,
Agar Tumhein Lagy K Tum Nahi
Bacho Gi To Plz Candle Bujha Dena.

Aik Lerky Ny Lerki Ko Propose
Aik Lerky Ny Lerki Ko Propose Keya!!
Lerki Ny Lerky Ko Khub Mara!
Utha K Mara
Chapal Sy Mara
Pathron Sy Mara
Ghaseet K Mara
Lerka Utha Or Kapry Jhaar Kr Boola
To Main Phr Inkar Samjho

Co-Education Mein 2 Tarah
Co-Education Mein 2 Tarah K Log Hoty Hain.
1- Jin Ko Degree Mil Jaati Hai
2- Jin Ko Rishta Mil Jaata Hai

Jahan Dekho Ishq K Bemar Bethy
Jahan Dekho Ishq K Bemar Bethy Hain
Hazaron Mar Gy Lakho Teyar Bethy Hain
Barbad Kr K Apni Taleem Lerkiyon K Pechy
Phr Kehty Hain K,
Molvi Sahab Dua Krein Berozgar Bethy Hain.

Aik Pagal Dosary Pagal Sy
Aik Pagal Dosary Pagal Sy:
Aik Dafa Mere Uper Sy Bus
Guzar Gae Thi.
Dosara Pagal: To Phir Kiya
Howa?
Pehla Pagal: Wo To Acha Howa
Uper Pul Tha Warna Main Mar
Jata.

Cousins At Weddings Be Like
Cousins At Weddings Be Like
-Tum Bhag K Naan Or Raita Le Ana
-Main Bottiyan Daal Laon Ga
-Ali Tu Botlain Or Chawal Utha Lain.

Faasla Naa Rakein!
Faasla Naa Rakein!
Agar Pyaar Ho Bhi Gaya,
Tou Kaunsa Ami Abu Man Jayenge?

Insan Ka Pajama Beshak Dheela
Insan Ka Pajama Beshak Dheela Ho Jaye
Mager Insan Ka Character Kabhi Dheela
Nahi Hona Chahiye…!!!

Wo Gourement Teacher Ho
Ager Kesi K Bal Bikhare Howy Hon,
Or Es K Kapry Bhi Istari Na Hon,
To Ya Hergiz Mat Sochna K Wo Gareeb Hai,
Hosakta Hai Wo Gourement Teacher Ho Or
Esy School Sy Chutiyan Hon.

Ek Chappl Aur Padi…
Mom: Sofa Letne Ke Liye Nahi Hota
Baithne Ke Liye Hota Hai.

Lerka Paise Urany Laga Hai
Maa: Suno G!!
Lerka Paise Urany Laga Hai
Jahan Chupati Hon Dhond Leta Hai.
Baap: Kaminy Ki Kitab Me Rakh Do,
Exam Tak Nahi Dhond Saky Ga.

Urdu Funny Sms Collection 2021

Teacher Pappu Sy: Jawani Or Burhapy Me Keya Difference Hai?
Pappu Masomiyat Sy: Miss Wo Jawani Me Mobile Me Hasino
K Number Hoty Hain Or Burhapy Me Hakimo K. 😀

Uncle Bachy Sy: Aagy Ka Keya Plan Hai
Bacha: Bus Ap K Jaty He Nashty Ki Terali
Per Totny Ka Program Hai. 🙂

Good News For Pakistan.!!
ICC Ne Haliya World Cup Me Pak Vs India Match
K Doran Umer Akmal Ko Ghalat Out Denay Per
Pak Vs India Match Dobara Khilany Ka Elan Kar Dia Hai
Or Ye Match 30 Feb Ko Khela Jaye Ga….!!!!
World Cup 2015 🙂

Bio-Matric
Ajeeb Zamana A Gaya Hai Ab Tou “Sim” Ko B

“MATRIC” Karwana Zarori Hai.
Wo B “BIO” Me :*

Pakistan Zinda Bad.
Pakistani Team To
Pakistani Team To Haar Gayi Lekin
Dekho Kahin Tum Bhi Mujhe Haar Na Jaana!!
Cricket World Cup

Valentine Day
Larki: Valentine Day Qareeb Hai, Tum Mujhe Kya Gift Do G
Larka Tumhe Kya Chahye
Larki: 1 Ring
Larka: Theek Hai Myn Ring Don Ga
Lekin Phone Mat Uthana Warna Balance Cut Jaye Ga!

Faqeer Ki Girlfriend. Funny
Faqeer: 10 Rupy Dy Do Sahab Chay Peon Ga.
Admi: Chay To 5 Rupy Ki Ati Hai.
Faqeer: Girlfriend Bhi Peay Ge.
Admi: Faqeer Ny Bhi Girlfriend Bana Li?
Faqeer: Nahi Sahab, Girlfriend Ny Faqeer Bana Dea.

Funny Papa
Son To His Father While He Was Filling An Application Form.
Son: Papa Mother Tongue Keya Likhu?
Father: Likh De, Very Long And Uncontrollable.

Good News Bad News – Funny
Dad:Result Ka Kya Hua
Son: Dad, Ek Good News Hai Aur Aik Bad News
Dad:Good News Bata.
Son : Mai Pass Ho Gya.
Dad : Great, Aur Bad News.
Son:Good News Galat Hai.

KOI ANKHON MEIN
KOI ANKHON MEIN MULAQAT KAR LETA HAI,
BARA MUSHKIL HOTA HAI JAWAB DENA,
JAB KOI ENGLISH MAIN BAAT KAR LETA HAI.;-)

Papa Pe Dhyan Do….
TIPU Sultan Kaun Tha?

Son:
Pata Nahi!

Mother:
Padhi Pe Dhyan Do

Son:
CHINKY AUNTY Kaun Hai?

Mother:
Pata Nahi.

Son:
Papa Pe Dhyan Do….

Best Funny Sms For Friends

Ek Nafrat Hi Nahin Dunyaa Main Dard Kaa Sabab ,,,,,,,!!!?
Koolhay Wali Vaccine
Bhi Bohat Dard Deti Hai.. :-D

Mere ghar ki chhat per
aagaye hain baadal..
wah wah wah..
Mere ghar ki chhat per
aagaye hain baadal,,
Ye msg na padho warna ho jaogy Pagal

Unsay kaho hum se jalna chhod de
... Ay dost..
Hum to woh siyah bakht hain agar kholayn
LOTAY Ki Dukan,,
to log Hagna
chhod de

Kisi Si Juda Hona
Ager Itna Aasan Hota
"Faraz...!!!

Tou Jism Se Rooh Ko
Leny Kabhi Firishatay
Nahin aatay

Aik Pathan ne kisi larki se kaha k mujhe tum se kuch kehna he keh doon.
larki: bolo
Pathan: ap ke pass NASWAR hey.

Hum chaat par chade patang udane ke bahane,
Wo bhi chaat par aayi kapde sukhane ke bahane,
Uske mummy ne jo dekha ye hasi najara,
Jhadu le aayi wo bandhar bhagane ke bahane..

tanha dekh k mjhse faraz ne kaha..
apka doston ne apko bhula dya hoga...
mene muskra k jawab diya....
wo beawafa nai tharki hain kisi larki ka number hath agaya hoga

Aik Knjos K Ghr Agh Lag Gae,
Wo Apny Ghr Ko Bacha Na Saka,
Q K Wo Sari Raat
Fir Biraged Walo Ko Miscall Marta Raha.

Man to Doctor: I want to live long, tell me any tricks for this
Doctor: Get married
Man: Then can I live long???
Doctor: No, this desire will no longer stay...

Yeh keh kr chor gya rani ko raja,
Wah wah
Yeh keh kr chor gya Rni ko Raja,
double sawari ty pabandi ay tu cycle ty aa ja.

Baap : bata ager sasoral walay shadi k din

scoter dain to car mangna, ager computer dain to laptop mnagna.
Bata : abaa agr lerki dain to os ki MAA mang loon

Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don''t try to be Funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to KArAchi..!
Station Master: No Madam, I''m afraid it''s too heavy...

Funny Quote on a married guy''s T-shirt.
All Women Are
Devils &
I Married Their Queen. :-)

A Celebrity Is Someone Who Works Hard
All His Life To Become Known
& Then Wears Dark Glasses
To Avoid Being Recognised. "

Best Funny Sms Jokes Collection

Pathan goes India illegally,Security: Who are you?
Pathan: I am Hindu.
Security: Tell me tha 5 names of Bhagwan!
Pathan: Yassu, Panju, Haar, Kabutar, Doli.

*~-BUMPER OFFER-~*
Send me sms & win
10 Lac ki car ka PHOTO
29" TV ka BOX
Dubai janay walay pl@ne ko TATA kernay ka moqa aur
mere saath DINNER wo bhi aap k gher .

I Made No Resolutions For The New Year.
The Habit of Making Plans,
Criticizing, Sanctioning
And Molding My Life
Is Too Much of
A Daily Event For Me

Open with Love...
If I disturb U
I am Sorry!
But I need
To Say
I...
Love...
Disturbing you...

I love everybody.

Some I love to be around,
Some I love to avoid,
and
others I would love to punch in the face.

Life is nothing without LOVE,
Love is emotion & Kiss is practical,
don't get emotional, yar just b practical
So STOP loving and START Kissing.

Promise me we are true friends
I am lamp you are light
I am Coke you are Sprite
I am Sawan you are badal
I am Normal you are Pagal
I am Water you are Tanki
I am Tarzan you are Monkey

It's Perfectly Legal To
Kill Someone In Your
Dreams,
That's Why
I Wake Up With A Smile Everyday

Good Morning :-)

Latest Funny SMS For Whatsapp

Ladies hostel caught Fire
It took 1 hour to bring the Fire under control
& another 3 hrs 2 bring d Firemen
under control.

When u feel lonely and alone
& cannot see any one around you,
the world seems to be fading away,
come along with me
i'll take u to an eye specialist !!

Father: Your teacher says she finds it
Impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat,
keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,
20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

A scientist cannot b a president,but kalam did it.
A conductor cannot b a superstar,but Rajini did it.
A monkey cannot operate mobile,
but u mere lal, mind blowing..... (u did it)

Aaj kuch ghabraaye se lagte ho,
Thand se kuch kap-kapaaye se lagte ho,
Nikhar kar aayi hai soorat aapki,
BAHUT DINO KE BAAD NAHAAYE SE LAGTE HO..

Manager: What is your qualification?
Pappu: I’m Ph.D.
Manager: What do you mean by Ph.D.?
Pappu: Passed high school with difficulty.

A cute Nurse came for interview.
Doctor: What salary do you expect?
Nurse: Rs 10,000
Doctor was overjoyed and said: My pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure its Rs 25,000

One boy on his way to home with his mom after school,
Saw a couple kissing on the road,
He suddenly shouted and said look mom,
They are fighting for CHEWING GUM.

Husband and Wife had a Fight.
Wife called Mom: He fought with me again,
I am coming to you.
Mom: No Sun, he must pay for his mistake,
I am coming to stay with you!

Why are wives ‘more’ dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life…
The wives want both!

Dog was Chasing Titu
Titu runs, but Laughing…
A Man asked why are you Laughing? Titu replied
I have put Vodafone Sim, but the Hutch network is Following…

If you think your boss is stupid.
Remember,
You would not get the job.
If he was smarter.

Madam to Student: Last Semester you were roaming
with that girl and this semester, you are roaming with other.
What you think of yourself?
Boy: Syllabus changed mam.

Relationship status and singer,
Before relationship, Honey Singh!
When in relationship: Arjit Singh!
After breakup: Jagjit Singh.

Teacher: what do u call a person who cannot hear anything?
Santa: You can call him anything, because he cannot hear anything.

A lady tourist went to a country on a vacation. In the evening,

she was toddling on the beach. A security person came to her and said,

‘Mam only one-piece is allowed here.’

The lady was awe, thinking which one to open.

When somebody who is deeply
in Love with you tells that
You are
cute, beautiful, & angelic, talented
I agree. That’s true,
Believe me, I swear because love is definitely blind

Most people have 5 senses.
Some people have 6 senses.
But your blessed with 7 senses.
An extra sense is NON-SENSE.

The Sun makes moon shine,
Current makes bulbs shine,
Wax makes candles shine But,
I’m really confused.
Wat makes you shine?
Is it Harpic or Domex!

Best Short Funny Messages

In 3 ways, you can break the mirror,
1. Throw stone at the mirror,
2. Throw the mirror on the floor.
3. Stand in front of the mirror and smile.
By showing your teeth!

Your network tariff has changed!
Call charges are now calculated
according to brain size.
The smaller the cheaper!
Congrats You can make free calls!

My eyes detected
My heart reacted
Thousand were rejected &
Only you were selected.
Because I needed a monkey for an advertisement.

What? Is A Difference Between
A Kiss, A Car and A Monkey?
A Kiss Is So Dear,
A Car Is Too Dear And
A Monkey Is You Dear.

Do you remember the day we travelled in a car?
I put my dog out of the window,
You put your face out,
Then people started shouting
‘TWINS TWINS’

A family comes out of an electronic shop,
Son holds ‘iPad’
Daughter holds ‘iPod’
Mother holds ‘iPhone’
Father is holding a banner that says |_I paid_

Santa: Aaj Mera Beta First Class Me Aaya
Teacher: Very Good
Kisme Aaya?
Santa: RAJDHANI EXPRESS TRAIN Me

Don’t give importance to money
Because,
It can give bed but not sleep,
Books but not brains,
Clothes but not beauty,
Luxuries but not happiness.
So, Transfer it to my account!

Thoughts for the night:
Don’t waste time by thinking about your past or future!
Better kill some mosquitoes in that time.
So, that you can sleep better!

Once A Secretary at Apple Was Late
Because Of Car Trouble, Steve Jobs
Gave Her a Jaguar and Said,
‘Don’t Be Late Anymore.’
When I Was Late My Boss Gave Me A Letter
And Told Me to Never Come Back Lol!

Money Can Buy a House Not Home A
Bed but Not Sleep, Medicine But
Not Health, Money Is Dirty It
Only Causes Pain and Suffering
Send Me All Ur Money and Be Happy!

Don’t Lose Hope If You Aren’t
Getting Promotion in Office.
Remember, Pradyumann Is Still
An Acp And Daya Is Still An
Inspector! And That Too,
Even After 17 Years of Service!

After Robbing the Bank, 1 Robber
To Clerk: Did You See Me Robbing?
Clerk: Yes, I Saw You.
Robber Killed Him and Asked
To the Next Clerk: Did You? Second
Clerk: No, But My Wife Saw You!

Rose Is Red, Sky Is Blue A
Friend Like You Should Be Kept
In Zoo, Don’t Mind… There
You Will Find Me Too, Not In
A Cage, But Laughing at You.

This Message Is Strictly For,
Smart and Intelligent People;
And If You Have Received It. Then
Obviously, It’s A Technical Error.

The Men Are Very Kind and Women
Are Very Selfish. Proof.
Most Women Don’t Like Help Unknown
Men, But All Men Are Ready
Anytime to Help Unknown Women!

Sense of Responsibility:
A Man Goes to Library And
Asks for A Book on Suicide.
Librarian Looks at Him And
Says…
‘Bhai Wapas Kaun Dene Aayega

’

Funny Sms Messages 2021

Teacher: Tum late kion aye ho?
Student: Ammi Abbu lar rahy thay eslie
Teacher:Wo lar rahay thay tu tum kion late aye
Student: Mera ek joota ammi ke pas tha owr ek abbu ke pas

Pathan rishtay k liyea tasveer khichwa raha tha
Background main gadha bhi aa gaya
Pathan nay tasveer kay saath yeh likh kar bheja k:

“Oye Hum aagay waala hay”:)

If Electricity Goes in America,
They Call the Power Station.
In Japan, They Test the Fuse,
But in India They Check The
Neighbours House.
‘Sab Ki Gayi Hai Na, Fir Thik Hai’

Grandfather to Grandson:
Go Hide, Your Teacher Is Coming
As You Bunked School Today.
Grandson: You Go Hide,
I Told Her You Passed Away…

Sister to Brother: What Are You Going
To Gift Grandma on Her Birthday?
Brother: Football.
Sister: But Grandma Does Not Play.
Brother: On My Birthday, She Gave
Me Bhagvad Gita. Uska Kya!

Teacher: Who Is Terrorist?
Santa: Terrorist Is A
Tourist, Who Comes From
Another Country to Celebrate
Diwali In Our Country.

If Wife Kisses Every Time You Come
Back Home, Remember Its Not
Affection. It’s Inspection Of
Daaru, Perfume or Lipstick,
Be Careful. Janhit Me Jaari.

Teacher: If A Tiger Attacks
Your Mother in Law and Your
Wife at The Same Time, Whom
Would You Save?
Santa: Of course, The
Tiger, Very Few Are Left!

Superb Attitude for Life: Cheers
All the Boys for This. Living
With Wife Is a Part of Life,
But Living with The Same
Wife for Years, Is Art of Life!

A Letter from A Teacher to A Parent
Dear Parent, Kumar Doesn’t Smell
Nice in Class, Please Try to Bath
Him. Parents Answer: Dear
Teacher, Kumar Is Not A
Rose, Don’t Smell Him Teach Him.

Santa Was Driving Car Very Fast,
Traffic Police Caught Him…
Santa: Sir, I Am Learning Driving.
Police: Without Teacher?
Santa: Ya, Its Correspondence Course!

Husband and Wife Are Sleeping,
Wife Dreaming and She Suddenly
Shouts.
Quick, My Husband Is Back.
Husband Gets Up in Lightening
Speed & Jumps Out of The Window!

Arranged Marriage Is Like.
You Are Walking and Unfortunately
A Snake Bites You…
And Love Marriage Is.
Dancing in Front of a Cobra
And Saying.
Come Bite … Come Bite Me…

Two Friends Were Walking But
Suddenly They Stopped.
1st: Oh, My God, My Girlfriend And
My Wife Are Coming Together.
2nd: Damn Mine Too…

If You Feel Stressed,
Give Yourself a Break,
Enjoy Some.
Ice Cream Chocolates Candy
Cake. Why? Because.
STRESSED Ka Ultra Spelling,
DESSERTS Hota Hai!

Jeeto: What Do You Think About
Our Love?
Santa: Try to Count the Stars
In the Sky.
Jeeto: Wow, So Its Infinite.
Santa: No Baby,
It’s A Waste of Time.

100. 90% Girls in Facebook Say
They Are in Relationship.
90% Boys in Facebook Say
They Are Single.
Then Who Are Liars?
Boys or Girls

Latest Funny Sms & Funny Sms Messages

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